Philippians 4 - Exhortations in Excellence

LINK: Philippians 4 (Maybe meditate on and memorize 4:6-7)

BACKGROUND

In this closing chapter, Paul gave the Philippians several "charges":

1) Stand firm in the Lord
2) Live in harmony in the Lord
3) Rejoice in the Lord always
4) Let your gentle spirit be known to all men
5) Be anxious for nothing, but in everything pray
6) Think about good and excellent things
7) Practice what you saw in Paul

Then, he told them that even though he was content in all things and could do all things (including living in poverty and wealth) through Christ who strengthened him, he was grateful for their concern for him because of their financial gift sent to them via Epaphroditus.  He also knew that God would bless them for their generosity. 

Then, he concluded by giving final greetings to the Philippians from himself, his fellow workers, and from other believers. 

REFLECTION

As I type this, I am feeling anxious because people are calling and asking when and where we are having Jesus Community tonight. I have another commitment, and I have no idea what my husband has decided. I have no idea where he is, and he should have been home 20 minutes ago. I am a bit anxious, but I applied what I learned from this chapter. I am praying and not allowing myself to be anxious. Sometimes I take on more than I need to, and I need to just let it go. (I am a "J" on the Myers-Briggs Personality Type Indicator and "J's" tend to take on more responsibility than they should.)

So, I prayed and let it go, and here he comes in the door this very minute! He is on the phone with the people who have been calling, and I can finish my post before I go off to my other engagement!

2023 REFLECTION UPDATE

Wow! Growth! I am better in the "responsibility" department than I was when I wrote the REFLECTION above. However, recently, I took on responsibility for how another person responded to me. My best friend said, "Carol, that person is broken. Her response is not your responsibility." This was so helpful to hear. I love my friend, Kim. She is so sensible. She calls on me to be sensible for her too. We tend to not always be that way for ourselves. 

"Joy Leaks" Regarding This Situation

It was also helpful to Immanuel Journal about my gratitude for my relationship with this person (I went back to happy memories of our very long history together) and my emotions over the situation. There are six big emotions that cause "Joy Leaks" in us. 

Sadness, Anger, Disgust, Shame, Fear, Despair 

I realized that I was afraid of this person and losing the relationship with this person and felt shame about how I should have responded. My response was great for a healthy person, but this person is broken. I was dealing with another "Joy Leak" here: 

Dealing with a Narcissist 

This person's brokenness causes them to deal with their deep shame through blame instead of taking responsibility for their part. My best friend (who does not know this person - I would not violate peacemaking by going to someone within the sphere of this person and me) and my husband both validated that my response was totally appropriate (for a healthy person).

While this person is not clinically diagnosed as a narcissist. There are many of those tendencies. I am reading The Pandora Problem to help me learn to deal with it in others and myself (let's face it, we all can have those tendencies).  My tendency with this person is to not make waves because I stood up one other time, and I was bullied into an apology for all that I had done wrong with no acknowledgment about this person's part. Sigh. I have seen this person do it with others for years. I am usually not the recipient. 

The other two "Joy Leaks" are:

Trauma  

While I have healed from much past trauma, the displeasure of this person made me want to "people-please" which is related to trauma growing up ("I deserve to be treated this way because I did not respond perfectly to this person, and they may reject me as a result." In my childhood case, it led to physical abuse.) I do fear ultimate rejection from this person based on my past trauma. 

 Screens 

Here is what the book I am reading says about this:

Another joy leak is the prevalence of video screens in our daily lives. We use smartphones, television, and movie screens to fill our idle minutes or hours. Joy and screen time are inversely proportional (Wilder, et al Joy Starts Here, p. 205-206). When our eyes and face are staring at our phones, we are not engaging with the faces around us. The joy drains out of our communities by depriving ourselves of each other’s faces. Our need for face-to-face time is designed into our flesh and cannot be substituted with a screen. Our brains can distinguish between a real face and a face on a screen even when we are infants. Our neurological circuits do not react to screens the same as they do to live faces. Since we need facial joy like we need food and oxygen, we are starving ourselves of relational nutrition. (Wilder, Jim; Hendricks, Michel. The Other Half of Church, pp. 68-69)

I had face-to-face time with my husband over this and eventually face-to-face time with my friend. I also think that texting was not a good mode of communication with this person because they totally misread what I was saying and reacted to me from their assumption. The reaction was hurtful to me. So, I need to remember, in the future, when communicating with this person, I need face-to-face time rather than texting. 

APPLICATION 

How is your joy? Where are the "Joy Leaks" in your life?

What of all the exhortations in this chapter can you apply to your life right now?

Philippians 4:6,7 is in the Topical Memory System and very important for memorization!

Here is a list with verse links and "mini-sermons" by LeRoy Eims. 

Topical Memory System Audio Library

PRAYER

Lord, teach us not to worry about anything but to pray about everything! Thank You for giving me peace in the midst of some stress this evening. May we all learn to come to You first in these times. Amen.